


Drifting in a Sea of Change

by Makisol



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Universe, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Galra Keith (Voltron), I'll add more tags along the way, Lucid Fantasies, M/M, Secret Relationship, Slow Burn, Smut, Takes place right after the Marmora trials, or something like that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-07-23 16:45:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16162874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Makisol/pseuds/Makisol
Summary: After returning from the Blade of Marmora trials, Keith’s been feeling off in many different ways that not only affect him but everyone else around him. In the middle of the storm of emotions, he reaches out to find that single island of peace that remembers him to feel the ground beneath his feet and take control.





	1. Small Doubts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, this was supposed to be just pwp but I don't know where all this plot came from.

Keith was angry.

Pidge was being so condescending. Her tone so arrogant and mocking that it only fueled his anger even further. And Lance’s laughter made him snap to a limit he had never crossed before, at least, not while being part of Voltron.

But it did start happening once he—and the others—found out he was a half-Galra.

When he was a kid he had a lot of problems with all types of people. Back then, he had worse reasons to be angry: they insulted him, or his family or _Shiro,_ and it always triggered something in him that made him get into a fight. He was ashamed to say that his anger now came from something mundane. But it still angered him and he couldn't know why it was such a strong fury.

This behavior wasn’t normal for him, he thought, the past few days he had been so sensitive that any little inconvenience would make him mad. He wanted to make sense of it but it was hard to rationalize the situation when he was so upset, so instead he made his way to the lion’s hangars with long, quick steps that resonated loudly in the castle halls.

Idiots. Jerks. _Assholes._

He was just trying to lend a helping hand, even if the topic was far from his expertise: he was no hacker after all but maybe he could provide some useful ideas that might speed up the investigation.

_‘Yeah, Keith let me just— tell my code to go hack, that’s exactly how programming works’._

Keith reached the door and he had the itch to kick it open, but thinking of the trouble he'd get in with the princess for it—besides the obvious problem she has with him already—he controlled himself and let the door slide. Red’s calming aura against his own raging anger was like a cold bucket of water to his face, and with just a few seconds in her presence he began to calm down. And while he walked all the way to greet her, his mind began wondering on the events from today, yesterday and the day before that, and how he was mentally tired of dealing with these outbursts so often. He had always been temperamental but even he knew that this was strange.

He wanted to leave but he couldn’t just fly away from this, like he did so many times back at the garrison, at home, at school… and, the list goes on, really. But it’s not like leaving was an option when there was always the inevitability that the Galra were to strike and they might need Voltron.

Keith reached Red’s paws and sat against it, trying to relax, and the more he spent thinking of the fight the worse he felt. Did he scream? Did he really mean what he said? He had insulted Pidge, and Lance too, right? Hunk was the one who ended up putting himself between Keith and the others acting like a shield. He was also the one that asked him to leave too.

Keith groaned and let his body slump against Red, his chest feeling constricted in what he would describe… self-pity? Shame? What was this? he was feeling angry just a moment ago. He should’ve gone to the training room to sweat this out, even if it meant risking getting caught by Shiro who surely was looking for him right now, but it was always such a much better solution to occupy his mind with combat; just him, the sword and the enemy. Skill and Ability.

Simple muscle memory and quick thinking. No dwelling, no over-thinking, no _guilt._

Did he overreact? Probably not… or did he? He… didn't really mean to say those things.

Keith just sighed and moved his body to lay down behind Red’s paw, trying to hide his body away from the hangar’s entrance. Keith slumped down, lying with his back against the floor and closed his eyes.

Yeah, this looks like a great place to take a nap.

* * *

“Keith” Shiro’s voice wasn’t exactly angry but he could feel the slight traces of irritation in it. “Where have you been? I’ve been looking all over the castle for you”.

The training sequence had just started and the remains of the nap he took were just beginning to disappear. He was still pretty groggy—and sore too, he had slept for an hour or so on the floor but that was enough to make both his neck and back ache.

Keith paused for a second to look back at him. “Uh, I was taking a break” he responded, just before turning back to a new robot dummy. He really didn’t want to tell Shiro about his new-found spot in case he had to use it again to hide.

He wasn’t looking at Shiro but he could feel his gaze examining him, probably waiting for him to elaborate but Keith kept quiet as he moved with easy practice around the training area, sleepiness quickly fading from his body.

“Well, then you might know why I’m here” said Shiro, calmly. Keith felt a small pressure building in his chest despite the soft tone. “We need to talk, Keith.” Disappointment.

“I’m busy,” Keith responded with a clear venom in his voice, though he probably didn’t mean it to sound like that. “I’ll go apologize to them later.” He continued, hoping that's all Shiro needed to hear to drop the topic off.

“It’s not only about that, I’m concerned how often these arguments seem to be happening between you and the others,” said Shiro just before sighing as Keith called for the next level in the training sequence. “You know this is important.”

Keith groaned as he kept moving to dodge and counter the attacks with his sword. Shiro was right in something, and it was that he obviously _cared_. Maybe he could work on it, actually look for Pidge, Hunk and Lance, and apologize for what happened and… whoops he missed that thrust.

Finally, and unfortunately, as he kept moving around the robot trying to find a blind spot, his eyes met Shiro’s. He looked tired. “You don’t have to tell me, but I _know_ there is something troubling you. Whatever it is, I’d suggest you discuss it with someone. Whoever you might consider it best”.

Keith wanted to be angry again, but this time, at himself. Shiro always had a way with words to calm him down, to set his fury at ease, however, this time to have to look at him directly into his eye only escalated his guilt right in the core of his being, he only felt worse and soon he felt tears clouding his eyes.

“Hah, you know I got no one but you, Shiro” he snorted just before almost tripping on his feet—too much thinking made him slip on his posture and this gave the dummy a clear hit to his abdomen that had him almost arching in pain. Shiro gasped and just as he was about to intervene, Keith used the opportunity to finally slice the robot with a clumsy swing of his arm, an all-over awkward position any skilled swordfighter shouldn’t be in: legs too apart and feet askew, with his torso looking to the wrong side… Horrible display in all honesty. The dummy fell to the ground with a loud thud. Keith wiped the sweat from his forehead and blinked a few times. He’ll blame it on the nap.

Shiro sighed “Keith, you got the team now, too—”

“I—,” Keith interrupts him, and he stops to swallow, turning to finally give Shiro the attention he deserves. He wanted to say something but the words caught up in his throat, and then a fear settled in his stomach when the thoughts from before came back: _This wasn’t normal for him._ “I want to talk, Shiro, but…” He rubs his neck and his paladin sword shapeshifts to its usual bayard form. “I’m not sure how—or what is actually going on.”

Shiro looks pleased as he gives him a small smile and nods. “Alright, I’ll give you your space if you need it.” he says just as he starts to step back and Keith starts to panic. “Whenever you want to talk—”

“Wait!” Keith interrupts him, again—and he feels a little bad about it—but Shiro stops to give him and odd look. Keith tried to think about something but he just stuttered one word after the other, what was it again? He was angry at Pidge, right? No, it was embarrassment and… jealousy? God, no, that was the _other_ time he had argued with Lance… “ _Agh!_ I don't know anymore! They’re driving me insane!” Keith concluded, and Shiro began walking towards him as relief started to morph into worry and then Shiro was in front of him, putting his hand on his back reassuringly.

“Working with others is always hard. Not only for you,” Shiro offers while he strokes his back slowly.

Keith snorted and looked away. “They seem to be doing just fine.” _With their little garrison trio bullshit club,_ he thought, deciding he should keep that to himself. And that’s without counting princess Allura's issues with him and the rest of the Blade members.

“Keith, they’ve known each other far before they met you” Shiro’s hand stopped rubbing him as he started pushing Keith towards the exit of the training deck. “When you’re forced to group up with strangers, it’s normal to have differences and it’s up to you to decide how to handle it.”

He was right, but there was something still not falling in place. Initially, Keith wanted to say something about the fragility of his temper and his emotions, and how that might be another big reason to the problems he’s been having, he’s decided to catalogue them as “mood swings” as a lack for a better term to define it. But, truly, he didn’t even know where that was coming from.

As they reached the door, Shiro’s hand fell to his side and Keith missed the comforting feeling. “I know that this half-Galra issue has got you confused, but everyone else might feel as conflicted as you, you know? Take the time to help them understand.”

Keith’s gaze went to the ground as he nodded. Shiro was right, as always but… the nagging feeling in his chest didn’t stop bothering him, even when he accepted Shiro’s advice to heart. “Thank you, Shiro. I needed that.” He confessed, despite the small worries in his head.

Shiro smiled again, and Keith could tell that he seemed way more satisfied now than before. “Good, I’m glad you could take some things out of your chest” He started walking and waved his hand towards the hall. “Kolivan wanted to meet up with me to talk some things about Voltron, do you want to come?” Shiro’s gaze looked pleading, and Keith couldn’t help but smile. “You can go back to your training if you want…”

“I’m good.”

His insecurities started fading once his mind got busy thinking about their mission, Voltron, the Blades and Zarkon and now his situation with the other paladins didn't seem so important anymore. Shiro’s comforting and silent aura kept him good company until they reached the main control room.

And just as Shiro said, Kolivan was standing in the middle of the room with Antok next to him, Keith gives Kolivan a slight nod in recognition as their eyes meet and he returns the gesture. Allura and Coran are busy enough with one of the maps they just started updating with the new Blade of Marmora’s information. Their chatter was hushed while they worked and Keith stayed behind when Shiro approached the princess.

She looked pleased to see Shiro, “Oh, we were just about to call you in, we found—” her gaze turned to Keith and her face lost her spark. “some useful information of Galra command centers.”

Coran smiled as he turned to Shiro, “We did get a lot of new stuff, I’m sure you and the other’s might find it quite interesting” he said as his cheery attitude filled in against the princess obvious discomfort.

Shiro nodded. “Great, I’m sure everyone has a lot to talk about.” And then he looks at Kolivan who takes a step forward with a nod.

“We believe starting a plan to take down Zarkon is of crucial importance now” He began. “Along with our inside intelligence and Voltron we clearly have a massive advantage. We must seize this opportunity.”

Shiro nodded, “I agree, this might be our only chance to strike a critical blow on the Galra Empire.”

Allura's expression was solemn as she turned around to look at the panel screen again, without saying a word. Her eyes fell on him but she kept quiet and ignored Keith in all the sense of the word. This reminded him of his days back at the garrison when kids were either ignoring him for good or just plainly shooting him odd looks, back then, it was because of his discipline and his temper, valid reasons to not like him in Keith’s opinion, but Allura's problem was about his heritage, something he's never been judged for before so he tried to understand—and believe that if he gave her the chance, she would eventually come around, unlike the immature classmates he used to have. The Galra had destroyed her home, killed her people and killed her father. She was confused. Just as Shiro said. However, that he might be used to rejection doesn’t mean it doesn’t bother him, in fact, in this particular moment it just increases his awkwardness as he tries to find something to distract himself with.

He thinks that taking a shower before coming here would’ve been a good idea, fighting the training bot didn’t take that long due to the fact Shiro interrupted him just as he started, but he did sweat a bit and his back and neck were still a little sore, a good warm and relaxing bath would’ve cleared his mind and relieve the muscle pain. But it was a little too late to think that so he walked slowly to the sides of the room watching his reflection on the glass and then the vast emptiness of the universe outside the ship. Keith’s desperate attempt to find something to distract himself proved futile as he dragged his eyes back at Allura and realized that: yes, it was impossible to ignore her _ignoring him_ on purpose.

Arms crossed and posture straight, he kept standing rigidly on one side of the room. This happened all the time before, it’s fine. Shiro is right: give them time to understand.

“You still cheated!” Lance’s booming voice felt like a hammer to his head. “I _was_ totally wining and you did something, I don’t know what it was, but I know! Hunk! Tell her!” He kept whining, and then he saw Pidge’s smug smile as she made her way to the main deck right next to him, but just as they shared a look, she sheepishly looked to the ground and quietly stood next to him.

Well, _shit._ He felt both good and bad about this new outcome, because maybe Shiro was quite literal when he said they probably felt as conflicted as he did. So yes: Pidge better feel bad for what she did, but damn did it feel wrong to have her look like that.

“Lance, I wasn’t watching, stop trying to pick fights with us, isn’t that what Keith is for?” Hunk’s words didn’t really settle in until Lance groaned in distaste when they both stood next to Pidge in the line.

“Keith’s too sensitive, can’t even take a little joke” Lance murmured just loud enough it could be heard by him. Keith tensed and gripped his arms trying to hold back whatever was crawling out of his throat to shout at him. He decides how to handle it. He decides how to handle it. He _decides how to handle it._

Pidge snorted. “Says the crybaby who’s been complaining about me wining at Mario Kart” Hunk’s laugh dwindled Lance’s astonished shriek. “Don’t be a jerk, Lance”

Keith’s anger doesn’t disappear immediately but Pidge’s obvious intervention to defend him, somehow, has him feeling a little better. At least there was someone in the room—aside from Shiro, that is—that didn’t seem bothered to have him around.

Lance is blushing now, looking at Hunk for support. “I’m not making it up! It’s true, you _know_ how she is!” He said.

“How I am? What, like I actually own a brain?” She continued. And when Lance tried to retort Hunk laughed too loud to let him speak. Keith snickered under his breath and Lance crossed his arms just as he shot him a glare that did little to made him feel bad.

Allura’s disgusted gaze is long forgotten in the mess that is Pidge and Hunk making fun of Lance instead of him.

“Okay, that’s enough” Shiro’s commanding voice cut through their banter like a knife, and they all look to him immediately as he spoke. “We got a lot of stuff to talk about, especially now that we have new intel from the Blade of Marmora”.

“Yes,” the princess intersected, while taking the attention of everyone in the room. “Among their files we found Galra credentials and other data that can gain access to their system, it also might be useful for hijacking their security.”

Keith couldn’t ignore Pidge’s excitement when she straightens her posture as Allura addresses her casually with one of her hands.

“I’m sure I can trust you to examine these, Pidge, Coran will be giving you the details later.” She paused and Pidge just clasped her hands together.

“Yeah you bet, I’ve been waiting to get my hands on that since they came here,” Pidge trailed off and put her hands on her pockets before addressing Allura again. “I might find something about my family in there too.”

“I thought it would be good to ask Kolivan about that,” Shiro said, while stepping out of Allura’s way when she approached the console. “And apparently they don’t have a lot of record on Galra prisoners.”

Kolivan shook his head and Pidge visibly deflated at this, but Allura was quickly to continue: “But he did tell us something about a Marmora base that could possibly have what we’re looking for.” She pressed on of the shiny dots on the star map. “It’s hidden on a small planet not too far from here, so we’re setting course to reach it as soon as possible.” She turned again to look at Pidge with a smile.

Lance whistled. “That’s neat! I’ve been waiting to get back to land already, do you think they’ll have some real food?” he said, just as Hunk and Coran both rolled their eyes in unison.

Shiro shook his head to this. “You’ll stay in the castle. We think we should be cautious on how we approach this, so we’ll contact you right away once we think it’s safe.”

Kolivan crossed his arms. “We haven’t made contact with them in a very long time, for all we know they might’ve left the base for good,” Allura's mouth twisted in a frown and glared at Kolivan with suspicion.

That was to expect, it was obvious that the reason of her caution was because she didn't trust them at all, “So, we’re not landing on the planet?” Keith asked.

Allura’s eyebrows dipped lower and her eyes stared at the control panel instead of him but Keith felt the glare nonetheless. Keith’s boiling anger started to ignite on the pit of his stomach once again, and just before Shiro could reply Allura spoke without looking at him: “We already said we're _not_.” Her voice was cold and venomous, surprising even Coran who looked back at her with concern.

He came back to school days trying to join conversations with the wrong words. Annoyed looks from his classmates and the sympathetic ones from his teachers that looked exactly like Pidge’s expression right now. He couldn’t be angry at her after everything that happened, but it still annoyed to have someone pitying him. Or someone _belittling_ him. He had been angry the whole day and he couldn’t phantom starting an argument again—especially not with Allura, so he swallowed his words for the tenth time and looked away.

“So, Hunk! I was thinking maybe you could help me out with some maintenance checks” Coran’s easy-going attitude lifted the heavy air no-one wanted to acknowledge. “We’ll be orbiting for a while so let’s keep you occupied!”

He started having a bad feeling about this.

“For the time being, we will try to stablish a communication with them,” started Kolivan, looking at Shiro. “But our spy within Zarkon’s main command center might have news for us soon, so I hope that once we have his intel, we can start planning our next move immediately.” he continued, Shiro gave him a nod of acknowledgement and Kolivan looked back at Antok and started talking to him in a more hushed tone. Allura looked at them from the control panel, an expression on her face Keith couldn’t quite read.

“Also, Lance,” said Allura, pulling back the star map and roaming around some files before looking at him, Lance smiled at her in return with a slight shimmer in his eyes. “I’d like you to test a training sequence Pidge and I have designed for the team exercises, Pidge needs feedback to fix any errors it might have.”

It was this uncomfortable thing, he couldn’t place his finger on it. But it was a familiar bad feeling.

Lance glanced to Keith momentarily and his smile fell to a more confused grin, and he knew they were both thinking the exact same thing: “Uh, sure? But…” He shrugged and gestured to Keith with one hand. “Isn’t training stuff like Keith’s thing? He’s like twenty-four seven in that place, anyone could confuse it for his room”

Shiro looked at Allura for a moment, clearly at a complete loss with this matter, “I’m sure Keith would be glad to—”

“I never _said_ he can’t go,” Allura cut him off with a shake of her head. “Pidge and I just thought it’s better if someone with little familiarity with the training system, like Lance, tries it”.

Ah, yes, that feeling. The _left-out_ feeling. A feeling that with time he had forgotten when he joined Voltron, because being part of a team—of something—where he was literally a vital piece that was equally as important as the others, had pushed away the sensation of an outcast that had always followed him ever since his father passed away.

At least until now.

Pidge coughed, awkwardly. “I never said—”

“In any case, Coran,” Allura continued, “can you please hand Pidge the information we have before you leave? We need to start making advancements in this immediately, so we can start planning our next attack on Zarkon—”.

Allura’s intentions were clear and he didn’t want to stay there to keep pretending he couldn’t catch on the hints. Allura wanted Keith to do nothing regarding _anything_. What was he supposed to do about Voltron, then? He couldn’t just stop being part of the team. God, what about when they had to fight, can’t she push this hatred away for the sake of the universe? He’s doing what he can! He’s not like them. He’s not like them. He’s _not_ like them _._

Shiro looked at him with _pity_ and his irritation reached its peak; if he closed his eyes, he was back at the control room that afternoon with Pidge’s arrogant smirk and Lance’s obnoxious laughter.

It’s just half of him. Or whatever! He could be full purple, giant cat ears and Allura had no right to treat him like _this._ He is a paladin of Voltron, the lion her father—the literal _king_ of Altea—used to pilot chose him. Why was she acting so childish?! He was putting his life on the line for this war. He wanted to help, he had the right, the obligation, the responsibility! He should fight her, set this up the right way. The only way he _knew—_ a punch to the jaw will put her in her place. He was so, _so_ angry but.

But.

Opening his eyes again, he was suddenly aware of the silence in the room, even though it was bustling with different conversations just seconds ago. The first thing he notices is Pidge who is looking at him in shock, as if readying herself for something. Then, as he looks around, he sees that everyone in the room, including Allura, have their eyes locked on him.

His hands feel sore and he then realizes how tense he was when he looks at his fists tightly shaking. He opens them slowly and hisses at the sharp pain of the marks his nails have left there. Nails too long and too sharp. At least, too long and sharp to have grown in the matter of minutes.

“Woah, Keith, that’s fucking weird” Always Lance with his so very subtle comments. “Did that—is that normal?” He whispered, but for some reason he heard that just perfect. Kolivan’s eyes are wide as they can get and Antok’s figure is close to him, whispering something in his ear.

Keith then turns his eyes to look at everyone else and Hunk flinches in the moment they share a look. “Oh my god! Cat eyes! Dude, is he turning into a werewolf?”

This has never happened before.

“What?” Lance shrieked. “First of all, Hunk, werewolves are like _dogs_ not cats,” he pointed out, completely unrelated to situation happening at the moment. “Second of all, look at him! I’d say he’s turning into a vampire!”

He starts feeling very self-conscious and his eyes search for Shiro. But he has a different face from the others. He doesn’t have time to dwell on it because then he turns to the reflection next to him and he sees it: ears getting too long, _too pointy_ and eyes dark purple against yellow sclerae.

He knows the feeling of guilt after he beats someone up, loneliness when sitting alone every time he eats, envy when he sees people hanging around others like it’s no big deal but not this. Not this feeling of _I don’t look how I think I look, what the fuck is going on why is everyone staring at me like that_ and his mind can only think of walking out of the room.

No one tries to stop him, not even Shiro who closes his eyes and puts a hand on his forehead, a habit Keith saw too often when he had to be at the principal’s office back at the Garrison and he had to fix each and every one of his fuck ups.

And when his walking becomes running he can feel tears sliding down his cheeks and now he’s not only angry, but confused and scared and _alone_.

* * *

His room was dark and quiet, and the way the castle hums around him lulls him to sleep many times, but he can’t never commit to it. He traces a hand around his ears again and he can feel the normal shape—or at least the shape it’s had his whole life until a few hours ago—and he sighs in rest.

Finally, all is back to how it was. His nails had contracted rather quickly after he calmed down, just like his eyes returned to its normal color. But his ears had refused to change back. He had spent the last two hours thinking he’ll have pointy ears for the rest of his life, and not in the altean-fancy-kinda way. They weren’t like Kolivan’s ears or god forbid: Sendak’s ears, but they were clearly Galran—still humanlike but growing in both directions, up from the shell of his ear and down from his earlobe, a very aggressive shape unlike the elegant, gracious and delicate way Allura’s or even Coran’s ears looked like. He touched them again, rubbing his fingers on the skin in case was any fur growing around that he didn’t notice before. Finally, he could close his eyes and sleep in peace.

Shiro had come to his room more than twice, knocked on his door and attempted to start a conversation but Keith had asked him to be left alone. He wanted to suffer this in peace and if he was going to start turning actual _full purple_ he’d rather let it happen while he was on the privacy of his room. Then he could just let people see the final result. Just like art class.

A feeling of nostalgia fills his chest as he remembers the afternoons at school where he just sat on the stool and traced the brush back and forth all over the canvas. He did like drawing as a kid, and if he had been born under different circumstances: away from the Garrison or Shiro, he would’ve loved to do that for a living. Maybe in another life he did turned out to be an artist, and instead of swinging a sword and wielding a shield in a war, he was doodling away in his sketchbooks and carrying a backpack filled with art supplies. If he closed his eyes, he could smell the paint, feel the brush in his fingers and the very wet and cold coat coloring his arms in long strokes of red and yellow and—

Keith frowned and sat up on the bed, opening his eyes immediately and massaging his temples. This wasn’t normal. This weird vision-daydream had never happened before.

“Keith?” Lance’s voice was barely above a whisper, but it was enough to make him jump. “Keith, are you awake?”

Keith thought on not answering but Lance rarely came to talk to him, especially directly to his room. He wanted to think that he wasn’t here to make fun of him, so for this one time he got up from the bed and walked all the way to the door, fingers ghosting around the panel. But he didn’t open it.

“I’m awake” He replied instead, his voice rougher than usual.

“Oh! Good…” Lance stayed quiet for a bit and then he heard some shuffling. “So, are you gonna open or…”

Keith frowns. “No, I don’t really want to see anyone right now. Do you need anything? Did Shiro send you?” he paused. “…Or Hunk?” he added, filled with skepticism.

“What? No!” he whined, “I came here by myself, I wanted to, you know… say sorry?” Lance’s voice sounded unsure and Keith didn’t know how to take that.

“About what?” Keith snarled, a little bit angry again, for some reason.

“What I said about you. About you being…” Lance’s voice began to sound more like a whisper. “fucking _weird_. I mean it was a little weird, but—yeah, it’s okay.”

Keith snorted. “Okay? What part of me literally transforming into a Galra is ‘okay’?”.

Lance giggled. “Alright, yeah, it was really strange, I’ll admit it, but we’re still cool!”

At this, Keith stepped back in confusion, again. Cool about what? What was the apology about again?

“Allura’s been awful to you. And I—well, this is not only about that but, I know that pressure when people stare at you and like… say you look _wrong_ and whatever, you know what I mean, right?” A loud thud came from the other side and Keith assumed Lance sat against the door, his voice coming from below him. “Also, I shouldn’t have mocked you when you tried helping Pidge with her nerd thing before, that was a dick move from my part, especially because I’m also an A-plus idiot in that stuff too, so—what was this about again?”

Keith should be the one asking that question.

“Well, whatever, all I want to say is, I don’t think anyone minds you looking a little Galra—or at least I can speak for myself, alright? Yeah, cool, we’re cool.” He rambled a little too much for his liking but that was just Lance, he supposed.

“Thanks, Lance,” Keith smiled despite himself, and sat with his back against the door, resting his forehead on his knees. “I’m sorry I said those things to you too, back when we were with Pidge. I didn’t mean any of them.”

Lance laughed. “Hey, I mean, I think I deserved it… a bit.”

“No, you don’t.” Keith whispered, not following with whatever Lance found funny about that, “You’re not dumb—or annoying, or anything I said, and I’m sorry.”

“It’s all forgiven, so let’s forget about it, yeah?” Lance was quiet again, and Keith wondered what he looked like, was he angry? Sad? He pressed his ear to the door and all he could hear was Lance sighing, now having Galra ears didn’t seem like a bad idea if he could at least listen to Lance more clearly, and he kicks those thoughts away in the moment they appear on his head. “Do you, uh—still look like that?” Lance asked, obvious curiosity creeping all the way to his voice.

“Um, no, I think all of it is gone” Keith replied, hands jumping to his ears again to check.

“Then why are you still hiding?” Lance’s voice wasn’t intrusive but it still made him a little upset.

“I’m not hiding!” Keith replied. “It’s just… I’m a little tired” he offered, but his excuse seemed too obvious to mask what he was actually feeling. It was not completely a lie, he was tired but there were other things bothering him that forced him to lock himself up.

Lance’s silence builds up this anxiety that tells him he should’ve just told him the truth or come up with a better excuse.

“Lance?”

Keith could hear Lance rising to his feet, shuffling his jacket and his pants. “I was thinking… Allura wants me to test that team thing so, maybe if you wanna help around… you can drop by the training deck tomorrow?” Keith closed his eyes and tried forgetting the awful feeling setting in his belly when he thought of Allura’s issues with him. “I promise not to make fun of you this time.” Lance teased, shaking him out his thoughts in a second.

“I—” Keith stopped, took a breath and stood up too. “I’ll go”.

He could see Lance smiling as he spoke. “See you there?”

And Keith smiled back, at least to the Lance in his head. “See you there.”

Okay. Mood swings? Normal. Galra transformation? Normal. Vivid daydream scenarios? Normal. Lance being nice to him? _Fucking weird._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fic in the fandom! Heck, my first in years! I missed writing so much it's been so long :'v I proofread this like 5 different times so i hope it's okay, ~~i even proofread this notes lmao i am not joking~~ also the marks we make very small cameo? yeah? no? okay.  
>  Thanks all for reading! next chapter: soon :D


	2. This is Between Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Keith thinks he might be getting the hang of things, one new problem blows up in his face unexpectedly. But he still tries, and tries, and _tries._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think from this chapter onwards there rating will go up I guess.  
> I wonder if there's anyone here for the plot, if you are feel free to skip :)  
> tw: minor blood injuries.

After talking with Lance, Keith couldn’t ignore his grumbling stomach and ended up getting out of his room to eat something. Thankfully, there was no one around the kitchen when he served a plate of food goo and sat against the counter to eat it. He was not a big fan of it, but he wasn’t really picky after living in the desert by himself. Not that any of his food tasted  _this_  bad—or worse—but rather because eating with other people after so long of doing it by himself made it all more enjoyable. He wishes he hadn’t skipped dinner today but after everything that happened, he doesn’t know how to face anyone anymore. 

The goo in his mouth turns sour as he remembers everyone’s faces for the tenth time that day, but above all he feels a knot in his stomach when he thinks Allura’s behavior and the massive change she had when Shiro and him came back from the Blade trials. She couldn’t bear to be in his presence and both avoided and ignored him whenever she had the chance to. Consequentially, she was the first person he picked up a fight with when this whole mood thing started happening. It was one small discussion, that he admitted was one-sided as Keith was the only one angry but it was the first time the princess ignored him when he spoke to her, walking away from him like she’d heard nothing. He didn’t yell, but his voice was louder than average when he tried to get her attention. 

The thoughts make his chest ache, a dull throbbing that cages his lungs and prevents him from breathing properly.   

He doesn’t want to give in into this sadness. It’s the mood swing, he knows, and he’s trying to avoid letting it consume him. He tries, hard enough that his thoughts drift elsewhere, to something good. And of all the things, Lance’s dumb attempt at apologizing is what comes back to his mind. It’s fresh and it’s a nice clean breath of air when he recalls their conversation. 

It was different from Pidge defending him before—that had been situational and maybe if Lance hadn’t said anything, she would’ve kept quiet. Lance, on the other hand,  _looked for him_ and apologized, something he never thought he’d ever live to see, and that by itself was like a completely different intention that warmed his chest. He guesses that Lance sympathized with him because of what he said about having eyes all over him, and Keith couldn’t begin to imagine how Lance wouldn’t like that. 

Keith had attention on him at the Garrison  _all the time._  At class, at lunch, at training and especially on tests. Sometimes it was good: Shiro and his professors were always enchanted with his piloting skills; and sometimes it was bad and there were mean stares from teachers who hated dealing with his discipline issues and some of his envious classmates that were always one step behind him. And Keith didn’t particularly like any of it. 

Keith believes Lance is a guy of spectacle, he likes drawing attention to him and it’s impossible thinking of a time when he would rather hide behind others and be as quiet as he could to stop people from noticing him. But he supposes there’s lots of things he didn’t know about Lance. Or anyone on the ship besides Shiro, really. 

“Huh, here for a midnight snack too, Keith?” says Hunk, just as he makes his way to the fridge on his tiptoes. 

Keith looks at the empty plate in his hands. “It’s midnight?” he asks. 

Hunk had taken out a small yellow bag and rips it open right before he talks. “Well, according to Altean space time, is like, really late.” He holds between his fingers one small colorful bean he takes out from the bag, almost the size of a marble. “And you know, the only one awake right now is Pidge so…” 

Keith grins. “And us”. 

Hunk laughs. “Yeah, she’s rubbing off on us in a bad way,” he says and continues eating, looking around the cabinets in the meantime. Keith doesn’t pay too much mind to it and instead he cleans his dishes and places them back on one of the cupboards. “Um, Keith?” Hunk asks. 

He takes his eyes away from the counter and meets Hunk’s soft expression. “Yeah?” he replies. 

“Do you—are you planning on going to the training sequence test?” Hunk asks, making Keith grimace at this. “I mean, you should. I think, you know? ‘cause, you love—uhm, doing that… I guess” He says nervously, trying to avoid Keith’s gaze and it makes Keith even more uncomfortable. 

He sits back on the counter, lowering his eyes to the floor and entertains himself with his jacket zipper. He wants to say Lance had already asked him to go, but he decides to keep that to himself. “I’ll think about it,” he says finally. 

Hunk waves one of his hands at him. “If you’re thinking about Lance getting upset, I know he won’t mind. I was gonna tell him to ask you but I figured he wouldn’t actually do it, even thought he’d probably need the help.” He puts another marble-bean on his mouth. “I’m doing him—and you, obviously—a favor, yeah? You know, Lance gets too stuck in his own head sometimes.”  

Keith snorts. “Yeah, that sounds like him,” he says, a small smile appearing on his lips at the thought. The atmosphere gets comfortable again and that relaxes him. Now he knows for sure that Lance had really come to apologize and that made this little secret—or almost secret—midnight-ish trip to the kitchen, worth it. 

“Also, don’t tell him I told you but he said your ears looked cute,” Hunk adds, with a soft tone. 

The sudden interruption to his thoughts has Keith choking on his spit and looking at Hunk covering his ears with his hands, touching them to make sure they still look the same. Yeah, that was a round shape.  

Hunk’s laugh when seeing his face reverberates in the whole room, only making Keith even more embarrassed. 

“I mean, he said something about a Christmas elf on a Santa Claus workshop, and I have to agree a little but the point is,” Hunk says before laughing again, covering his face with one hand. “God—the point—I’m sorry, just,  _your face_  was hilarious” and laughs again. “And it’s not a joke! He actually said that to my face” and  _again_. 

“Stop that” Keith murmurs, feeling his face getting hotter by the second, he lets one of his hands fall to his lap but keeps the other one absentmindedly stroking the outside of his ear. “They looked repulsive.” 

Hunk scoffs. “I think he liked them because they kinda looked like the princess’ ears” he says, and Keith could actually believe that one. “You didn’t look repulsive, man. Just… a little different. A good different, though” 

For some reason, that embarrasses him even more than before. “Okay, uh, thanks… nice kitchen talk—sorry, nice talk. Just talk.” he leaves the room after wishing Hunk a good night, hurrying past him trying to ignore his smile as he walks out. He reaches his room in a rush and immediately jumps on his bed and hides his face on a pillow. 

That was  _so_  awkward.  

He couldn't believe Lance would say something like that, because anything that he ever said were things he disliked about him: his hair, his jacket, his gloves, his frown, his crossed arms—he did complain about that too, once—his temper and his recklessness and—did he really have a mullet?!  

Lance always mocks him about it but Keith never believed he actually had one.  

He lays on his back and strokes his hair until his fingers reaches the black strands covering his neck. His hair is just long, right? Maybe if he lets it grow even more Lance can stop making fun of him for it. Slowly and softly, his fingers move around until they reach the shell of his ears. 

He closes his eyes. He tries remembering how long they were when they changed before. In this version of his memories Keith imagines he has pointy-fancy-Altean ears that Lance would praise. Maybe that was it: Lance had a thing for ears, that’s why he seemed to care so much about them. 

A thick wave of urgency begins traveling across his skin, and he doesn’t really know why this would turn him on at all, but it’s been a while since he’s done this so he wants to indulge himself in it, letting the arousal cloud his mind because knowing there was something  _Lance_  liked about him—especially something that Keith had hated about himself—he couldn’t help but let his mind wander into this unrealistic figment of his imagination. His hands begin stroking the sides of his face but they aren’t his hands anymore, its Lance’s long fingers caressing him with a gentle smile and a half-lidded eyes. 

Keith lets out a long sigh and his hands begin traveling through his chest all the way to the enthusiastic skin around his navel, the unnerving fire building up everywhere has him undoing his belt just as the Lance in his dreamland tips his head to a side, drawing his lips along his jaw until he reaches the shell of his ear and  _bit_ _es_. 

“ _Ahh_.” It’s a quiet breathy moan that escapes Keith’s mouth just in time when he’s pushing the hem of his pants far enough so he can palm himself through the thin cloth of his briefs.  

Just the lingering touch of his hand sends a shiver that makes his body tremble and somewhere in the back of his head he wonders if Lance would actually  _like_  to do this with him or not, and how realistic this situation seems to be. But he pushes those thoughts aside in a second to replace them with the lustful vision that keeps his hands moving over his clothed groin. 

He barely opens his eyes to remove his gloves and the touch of his calloused hand meets the soft skin of his erection as he takes himself out. Tonight, there was something different about this: it’s intense and exciting, he closes his eyes and he sees Lance’s hand on his dick, jerking him in a slow, torturing rhythm that has him whimpering against the pillows. Lance’s breath against his ear—a pointy, longer one that Lance must like so much—as he keeps biting and licking it with the tip of his tongue. 

“Ah,  _yes_ _,_ _”_ Keith says, just loud enough to feed his fantasy. 

Lance chuckles as he kisses his way down his face, pinning him against the mattress and dragging his fingers through Keith’s hair to pull it to the side.  

“Mhm, please, _”_ he begs while Lance’s hand picks up the speed at the sound of his voice. “That’s it,”he whispers, and sooner than expected he’s feeling his orgasm build up and somewhere in his chest it starts aching. There’s a need and he’s chasing it, gasping with every yank but he can’t quite get to it. 

Lance bites and sucks at the exposed side of his neck and grips his dick right at the head to push back to the base, no more balanced rhythm, just frenzy movements stroking him up and down as Keith feels sweat tricking down his forehead and moans getting a little too loud. The need it’s still right there,  _searching,_ it can’t find what its looking for but Lance is  _here_ , pushing up his shirt when his hands caress his abdomen, whispering things against his ear and Keith can hear him now, clear like water:  _Come_ _for me, Keith,_ and it’s so real he surrenders to the pleasure, leaving the worry for later as he thrusts against his hand. 

It’s such a  _strong_  feeling, “Ah,  _Lance_ ,  _fuck, fuck—Mmm_ _._ _”_ And saying Lance’s name out loud as he comes in his hand and against his chest feels ten thousand times better than just saying it in his head, where the fantasy’s still playing out. The next few seconds he’s breathing heavily, a knot somewhere around his belly— _the need_ that still clings to the edges of his daydream but it can’t grasp whatever its hunting down.Keith can feel Lance’s hands roaming around his body, his lips still lingering on his neck and jaw. So vividly, he lifts a hand to touch him but there’s nothing there but Keith. 

Then he opens his eyes and he’s greeted by his dark, lonely room. Oh. 

Coming back from the high, Keith’s petrified. He looks around in hopes of finding Lance that he swore was here, the fantasy had been so lucid that it was both terrifying and amazing at the same time. Self-consciousness makes a room on his head, and he feels embarrassment creep all the way to his face.  

“Oh, no…”He covers his mouth with a hand and touches his chest with the other, realizing that all was real thanks to the creamy white strips covering his abdomen. He gets up and starts looking for something to clean himself up, trying to distract his mind from what just happened. He doesn’t dwell on the miniscule details, like the  _need,_ or the vivid daydream and how Lance looked in it. 

And to think this all started because he was thinking about Lance liking his weird-pointy-Galra ears. He wasn’t even into  _that_  kind of thing!  

But he’s really tired—more than usual—and he’d consider those thoughts more if he didn’t have the compulsion to close his eyes and fall asleep on the spot. The memories of his daydream become a fog around his mind that starts fading once he starts losing consciousness. There’s a grief pulsing against his chest that he doesn’t know where it came from, but there more he tries to decipher it, the deeper he falls into a dreamless sleep. 

 

* * *

 

Keith was a morning person. By habit, he'd say, not because he liked to. Usually he'll sleep two or three hours, then he'd wake up in the middle of the night, roll around bed for an hour or so and then he'd go back to sleep. He’d be awake as soon as the sun rose up in the sky. 

Years of nightmares as a child and irregular sleep schedules during school had had its consequences, but he got used to it, and back at the shack he'd keep a book with crosswords and soup letter puzzles; limited edition superhero comics from his childhood with worn-out pages; and an old sketchbook with a bunch of doodles of animals that he’d seen in the desert, when his insomnia kicked in he liked to draw them again but with more monstrous features and have a laugh when the designs were to ridiculous to conceive. 

Now, he had nothing better to do than going to the training room for a while, worn himself out and go back to sleep. There aren’t many shops in space selling silly puzzle books after all. 

But today not only he slept the whole night like a baby, but now he laid awake on bed snoozing his alarm and hugging the blankets closer to him, the bright lights of the castle already marking the beginning of a new day. He knows he should already be up and following his routine, but for this one time he wanted to stay in bed a little more. And he knew  _why_. 

Going to sleep after what happened last night didn’t erase the uneasiness. He hoped he’d forget it in the morning but now he’s woken up and his head hadn’t let it go. Okay, big deal: he had a sexual fantasy with Lance but it could’ve happened to anyone, plus it wasn’t like he meant it, it was Hunk’s fault for bringing up the thing about his ears in the first place. 

He finally makes up his mind and starts stretching his arms, guiding his hands through the wall until it touches one of the panels next to his bed. He looks at the mess of Altean symbols he doesn’t understand and with practiced memory he presses one of the options, which just displays the castle’s current position. 

They were currently orbiting the planet where the Marmoran base was hiding on. He guesses Shiro and Allura must be getting ready to leave. 

As if summoning a demon, a knock on his door forces him to get up from his bed, he could already guess who it is. “Keith?” Shiro’s voice is filled with worry and he can’t help the sudden guilt clawing at his heart. 

He opens the door with a touch to the wall and he’s greeted with Shiro in full black paladin uniform. “Hey, Shiro,” Keith says while scratching the back of his head, trying not to stare at Shiro’s tired eyes. “Sorry about yesterday, I should’ve talked to you.” 

Shiro shakes his head and brings one hand to rest on Keith’s shoulder, “Don’t beat yourself up to it. You needed time to yourself to sort this out. How are you feeling?” 

Keith scoffs and crosses his arms. “I guess I’m fine. You’re the one who looks like didn’t sleep at all.” 

Shiro takes back his hand and rubs his neck. “Yeah, we need to talk.” He says, “…again.” He gives him a soft smile and Keith feels the need to burst everything out: the mood swings and the daydreams—sans the one he’d had last night,  _obviously_ —and were his ears actually  _cute?_  He’d been curious about that since yesterday! “But after I return. There’s something I have to tell you and I should’ve done it a long time ago.” 

Keith’s mouth was left hanging open, but he quickly recovers and nods. 

“I’ll be leaving in a few minutes with the Blades and the princess, I also have  _a lot_ of things to talk about with  _her_ _._ ” And Keith rarely saw Shiro frown like that—like he’s sad and tired, and Keith wishes he could take that away from him, he already has enough on top of his shoulders. “Wish me luck”. 

They exchange goodbyes, and then Shiro leaves in a rush while putting his helmet on. Keith goes back to his room and gathers some clothes, a clean towel and neatly organizes it in a pile he takes all the way to the changing rooms while on his way to have some breakfast.  

Maybe he’ll get ready on some workout exercises before joining Lance for the sequence testing. He’ll take a shower and maybe ask Pidge to let him try it before Lance gets there. Though when he reaches the dining hall and only sees Coran sitting with an empty plate and hands on a weird silver device, he imagines he’d have to wait until everyone else wakes up considering the time it is. 

Coran awake in the morning is a sign of  _it’s_   _too early_ , just as seeing Pidge awake at night was a sign of  _it’s too late_ , Keith thinks. 

“Hey there, Keith,” Coran says, “Want some food?” 

Keith nods and sits on one of the chairs. “That’d be great, thanks.” 

“Alright, one Red Paladin-sized breakfast coming in a tick,” he says, right after he gets up and makes his way to the kitchen doors. Keith tries not to mind the way Coran’s smile falters or the way he avoids his gaze. “Or do you want an extra portion?” he asks. 

“No!” Keith says, a little too loud just as the hallway’s doors slid open. “I’m okay, a normal portion will do.” 

Lance—who just entered the room—makes his way to the dining table, bed hair sticking out in all different directions. Keith jumps at the sound of Lance’s voice. “Ugh, make it two, Coran.” And just as Lance sits down he groans with his eyes closed. For a moment, there’s an unexplainable anxiety that says Lance can read minds, and Keith’s embarrassment turns into fear. 

Coran gives them a thumbs-up and disappears through the kitchen’s door. Keith’s forced to look at Lance now and he subtly brings one of his hands to the ear that’s facing him, covering it up and touching the edge again. 

Yeah, normal shape. 

“Hey” Lance says, yawning. “What’ll be today? Fangs? A tail?” he gets close to whisper at him with a curious smile. “Or like, growing  _six_ _feet tall_?” 

It’s a dumb way to start a conversation, but it’s enough to ease out the anxiousness. 

Keith sighs, looking away from Lance with feigned annoyance. “What are you even doing awake this early?” he asks. There’s clearly nothing to worry about,  _Lance is no mind-reader,_ Keith thinks happily. 

Lance dramatically moves away from him with a hand on his chest. “Are you telling  _me_ that you forgot?” He sounds legitimately hurt, Keith raises an eyebrow at this. “You said you’d train with me! Are you serious?” 

Both of Keith’s eyebrows rise now in surprise. “Are  _you_ serious? You never—you never wake up this early for anything!” He wasn’t angry, on the contrary, but he couldn’t believe Lance was committed to this especially when it was about them. Doing something. Together. 

“Hah! Excuse you but I do wake up early! This face doesn’t get this gorgeous by itself.” Lance points at him accusingly, “sorry we’re not training  _maniacs_  like you” 

Keith looks away, offended. “I’m not a maniac! I’m just committed to this cause; a pretty face isn’t going to defeat the Galra!” 

Lance is quiet, and then Keith realizes what he’d just said. 

Keith looks at him and frowns. “I mean—not that, uh…” 

Lance barks out a laugh, and Keith pushes Lance’s shoulder with enough force to tilt him away, not hard enough to make him fall, though. “Apparently, Keith,” he says, charming smile, arms on the table and resting his chin on one hand while he gives him a satisfied stare, “You’ve just proved my point.” 

Keith groans in defeat and his forehead meets the table with a thud. 

“Or at least half my point, ‘cause you’re just half-Galra,” Lance says. “Maybe next time we fight Zarkon I’ll make goo goo eyes at him, see how that works.” 

Keith groans louder, he doesn’t want that disturbing image on his head. “Zarkon’s like a living skeleton, he’s  _horrendous._ ” 

“Yeah, that’s what happens when you don’t take care of yourself and wake up just to fight a war,” Lance says, surprisingly serious. 

Keith’s eyes widen up slightly, Lance’s words taking him by surprise. That was clearly a statement indirectly aimed at him. 

“Well, you’re here too, aren’t you?” he says. lifting his head from the table with a grin. “If it’s such and unreasonable time then go back to bed, I’m not stopping you.” 

Lance squints his eyes. “How dare you brush away this sacrifice I’m making for you, I’m—I gave up on my warm, comfortable bed for  _training_ , you ungrateful Hair Disaster!” 

Great, he has turned this around to his favor. “Me? Have you seen your own bed-hair?” Keith asks and Lance bangs the table with a fist. 

“I didn’t have time to fix it up!” Lance replies, clearly irritated. 

Keith’s still laughing when he rises an eyebrow at him. “Why? Too excited to come see me?” He’s enjoying the quarrel for once, teasing Lance about admitting he was looking forward to this proves to be amusing enough. If his heart’s beating faster, he ignores it. He’s feeling too happy, too much, his chest feels like it’s about to burst! 

Lance reels back and blushes, crossing his arms and turning away from him. “Okay! You’re right! I didn’t get up this early just for you!” He pouts, “I actually woke up to say goodbye to Allura before she left—there, I said it.” 

That wasn’t what Keith was expecting to come out of this. “Oh.” 

“Happy?” Lance quips and Keith thinks he might’ve heard wrong but when Lance looks at him again with a scowl and reddened cheeks his heart falls down. “God that sounds so embarrassing now that I say it out loud,  _ugh_. Makes me sound like a love-sick idiot...” 

Keith’s smile drops along with his eyes that concentrate on looking at the table. If his chest feels too tight, he ignores it too. He then decides to stay quiet even when he feels Lance’s eyes on him and decides he wants to forget this conversation. That’s when he realizes that all the unexpected joy from before had come from a mood swing. And he hopes it doesn’t plummet him down. 

After what feels like the most awkward and eternal silence, Coran brings the plates to the table.  

“Today I have to say: I outdid myself. The goo is just extraordinary” Coran kisses his fingers away. “Splendid, delicious, beautiful. Shiro and the princess couldn’t get enough of it.” 

To his side, Lance hums with his mouth full. “Coran! This is great! What did you put in it?” 

Coran smiles smugly. “Well, now that you ask, I got some of the finest guts of a Nyradori’s belly—” 

“You know what?” Lance interrupts, face serious as he kept devouring the food. “I don’t wanna know” 

Keith takes the spoon and tastes it, but he’s trying so hard not to think of the argument that it just ends up dulling the flavor of it. 

“So, what do you think, Keith?” Coran asks expectantly. Keith nods and waits to swallow. 

“It’s good.” Keith replies. 

Coran stays quiet for a moment, perhaps a second or two, and then he puts a hand on his shoulder and bends down. “Ah, are you still upset about what happened yesterday?” he asks. Keith’s face goes on fire. 

_Yesterday, yesterday, yesterday._ Keith’s mind revives the memories of his wanton moans with Lance’s name on his lips. He’s silently panicking and maybe it’s not Lance who he should’ve been worrying about but Coran who’s the  _real_ the mind-reader! 

Coran just pats his head. “Now now, don’t be so shy about it. I knew a lot of half-Galras when I used to travel the universe, and let me tell,  _Hoo_  boy…” Coran’s eyes jump between both of them and grins. “the things I’ve seen…you wouldn’t believe me” 

Keith stares at him, completely lost. “You mean... You’ve seen people like me before?” he asks. 

Coran laughs. “Well, of course! Obviously not sure about any  _Earthlings_ but back in the day when there was no war, I met half-Galras from all across the universe. And I saw a lot of crazy stuff, like they have half their bodies covered in fur, or one has the head of a Galra and the feet of a Schropese” 

Keith frowns. “I don’t even know what a Schropese is” 

“I hope you never do, my boy, it’s  _filthy_ _!_ ” Coran yells, putting his hands on his hips. “Honestly, you look quite normal compared to many halflings I’ve met. So, cheer up, eh?” 

Keith looks down and nods. 

It was funny how everyone seemed so supportive about this but, when he thought of yesterday, it didn’t really seem to matter in the end. They all followed Allura loyally and there was just enough they were willing to do to fight back against her, that by itself saddens him more. He tries smiling at Coran, who in return pats his shoulder, and then he proceeds to sit on the table fiddling with the silver device he had earlier. Keith stuffs his face to eat as fast as he can and when he’s finished, he stands up and begins walking to the door without saying a word. 

“Hey, uh, so…” Lance’s voice stops him in his tracks. “I’ll see you later?” 

Keith sighs and keeps walking without looking back. “Sure.” 

This sinking feeling is part of the mood swing and he tries to forget. He  _wants_  to. But he can’t fight back the disappointment and he can’t erase Lance’s words from his head. So, he makes his way to the changing rooms and gives up—he cries until his eyes burn and his chest stops hurting. Until the mood swing is long gone. 

 

* * *

 

“Pidge?” Keith asks to the slumped figure on top of the training control room’s console. His paladin boots are loud in contrast to the silent dark room. He didn’t think he’ll find her here, since it’s still too early for her to be awake, yet it wasn’t uncommon to find her like this after she pulls an all-nighter. 

She lifts her head and fixes her glasses as he sees him. “Oh, Finally! I was starting to think Lance was messing with me.” 

Keith snorts despite himself and lays back against a wall, helmet on one hand. She presses one of the buttons and the system illuminates the room. Keith wonders what she means with that but decides that talking about Lance is out of the question for now. 

“Keith your eyes” She whispers. He immediately looks at her. 

“What? What about them?” he asks, passing his helmet from one hand to the other. 

“They’re yellow again” Pidge says. Keith turns his whole body in a swift motion to try and see his reflection on something. But there’s nothing but the window that looks down to the training deck. Because of the light he can’t really see and the only discernible quality are his purple irises that now look like thin cat slits. “Dude, uh, it’s…It’s okay, I think it’s fading already” Pidge says, this time with an awkward frown on her face. 

He doesn’t respond and instead he places his helmet on his head and hopes the visor will mask the color enough. And he’s thankful Pidge takes the hint once he turns around to look at her again:  _I don’t_ _wanna_ _talk about it._  

“Anyway, is Lance actually coming or did he ditch you to do this by yourself?” She asks. Keith chuckles and raises an eyebrow at her. 

“What do you mean?” he asks. 

“He went to wake me up like  _really_ early, and normally that’s a crime I’d punish with murder but he just wouldn’t shut up!” She yawns while pressing different buttons on the panel’s interface. “He was all like  _‘But_ _Pidgeeeee_ _, it has to be now, it has to be_ _nooooow_ _’_ Ugh, next time I’ll straight up throw him outta space.” She sighs. “And I was like  _‘Lance, he trains like, all the time,_ _come back later,_ _I’ve barely slept two hours!’_ And I was this close, Keith” and she lifts her hand, fingertips inches away of touching. 

Keith’s eyebrows rose up, confused. 

“This. Close. To kill him” She says between gritted teeth, eyes wide and mouth in a frown. She looked mad. In the matter of one second her expression relaxes. “But I guess I can’t say no to Lance’s puppy eyes, so here I am, sleep-deprived.” 

Keith hums, and looks towards the training deck again, pretending to be uninterested. “When I saw him at breakfast, I would’ve thought he woke up to see the princess leave.” 

Keith mentally compliments himself for that one, using his great informant skills. 

Pidge laughed and shook her head. “Yeah, that’s sounds about right.” She kept pressing buttons, pushing them with more force than necessary. “I told him that Shiro and Allura were about to leave and he tried to sprint all the way to the hangars but he didn’t make it in time. He was whining to me that it was my fault that Allura left him without saying goodbye, that I should’ve told him before and—oh my God, you know how Lance gets” 

Keith smiles again. “Yeah, I guess I do,”  _or not,_ he thinks, remembering all the unexpected parts of Lance he had been seeing since yesterday. If he wasn’t waking up to see Allura but Pidge, did that mean he lied to him before? Keith smiles and he doesn’t want to read too much into things but he’s not a dumb guy. He can put two and two together. 

“Mm, smells nice,” Pidge says with her eyes closed. “You just came from breakfast, right? I’m not gonna lie, I’m starving,” and Keith nods not missing the way her face relaxes when she says this. 

“Coran added something to the goo today,” he says, right before summoning his Bayard. “It was actually good.” 

“Goo that actually tastes good?  _Quiznak_ , Lance and Hunk better leave some for me,” she says, almost to herself. Keith can’t really read Pidge’s expression right now, but after all this conversation he guesses she might be a little angry about being awake. Learning from his past mistakes, he decides to leave her alone and mind his business. 

“I’ll get warmed up, mind to get me started on the basics?” says Keith, in a better mood than expected. 

Pidge gives him thumbs-up and he crosses the door down to the training deck. 

By the time Lance gets to the training area, he’s on his paladin uniform and smirking smugly at Keith. Now crying for fifteen minutes before sounded a little too dumb, maybe Lance was just more embarrassed to admit he wanted to do this with him than to say he was stalking Allura’s schedule. “Ready to get your butt kicked,  _samurai_?” 

Lance’s Bayard changes to his rifle and Keith just places his sword oh his shoulder, showing Lance his back. “In your  _dreams_.” 

“ _OH MY GOD, Can you not?”_ Pidge’s voice fills the room through the speakers.  _“I’ll start the sequence and add three_ _altean_ _sentries to fill for Hunk, Shiro and me. But they’ll be pretty much useless.”_  

Lance rolls his shoulders and scoffs, “Huh, not very far from reality, I see”. 

Keith snorts and shakes his head in disbelief. 

_“Keep that up and I’ll leave this room with both of you trapped in it”_ Pidge was talking harshly but there was no malice in her tone, so Keith let himself laugh while he stretched his arms. Lance’s back connected with his and he couldn’t stop his growing smile. 

At first, they complete basic team exercises that they’ve done before. Pidge takes notes on things she must recalibrate and fix. Eventually, se starts a combat simulation with an advanced AI she has tweaked from the castle archives. She briefly explains the rules: hit the enemies and they disappear, the more you defeat the smarter the enemy gets. They get the hang of it pretty easily and they do quite well by themselves. The Altean sentries do good support at the beginning, but as time goes by and they level up the difficulty of the enemies, the sentries are the first to die and respawn constantly during combat, leaving most targets for Lance and Keith. 

“Mullet, I got a bet for you” Lance says, before shooting a hologram beast right on the chest, as it disappears, Keith hums in question and turns his attention to Lance for a second before returning to the enemy his fighting at the moment. “I bet I can kill more than you before Pidge calls it off.” 

Keith snorts. “You’re on.” 

It’s silly. Keith knows that they shouldn’t take it so far but he knows that when Lance challenges him, he never has the will to back out. They keep yelling numbers back and forth:  _‘_ _T_ _hirty!’ ‘Ha!_ _I’m on_ _Thirty-two!’_ _._  And they’re so focused on their little game they don’t notice Pidge hasn’t said a word. 

A few minutes later, it’s too late to take notice. 

The enemies are impossible to defeat, they read them like an open book, and when Keith thinks he has the upper-hand, they beasts dodges perfectly and strikes back with double the force. In a lucky punch he’s able to defeat the beast, but Lance isn’t having much fun. 

“Lance!” Keith screams, one of the Altean sentries just standing still while shooting one of the enemies and missing the shots by a mile. Keith pushes it out of the way and rushes towards Lance who was getting ambushed by two beast-looking holograms. “DUCK!” He shouts, pulling his sword towards this back to build the momentum before he swings. 

Lance barely makes it to the ground when Keith slices one of the holograms in half. It trembles in static and then disappears the other ones leaps out of his range and starts circling them menacingly. Keith takes deep breaths, looking back at Lance momentarily to make sure he’s okay. 

He covers Lance with his body while he stands again. But just as Lance get to his feet another beast is appearing on a different corner of the room. The two of them rush towards them ready to strike. Lance and Keith try to make a run for the exit, but the beasts both get there faster to cover the door with their bodies. It’s hopeless. 

“Pidge?!” Asks Lance, looking up to the control room. “Okay, I know I said we wanted a challenge but this is insane! Stop it already!” He avoids one of their attacks just in time before trying to shoot them down. They’re too quick and they know where he’s aiming at, so they coordinate to avoid his attacks. They do well by keeping a distance from Keith, now that they’ve  _learned_ that Lance and Keith are fighting now as a pair and not separate individuals. 

An Altean sentry—one with a longsword—manages to distract the beasts, but Keith’s relief shatters in a second when they take all three sentries down without a sweat. Lance aims again, but the beast is faster and it keeps dodging his shots. 

Keith is  _exhausted,_ the levels of difficulty on this simulation had risen too high, and if they could defeat this level of the enemies, he doubted they could defeat the next ones. Stopping the simulation proved futile, and unlike the respawning sentries, their life was actually at risk. 

Keith keeps the enemies away from Lance, pushing them out with his shield and trying to pierce them when he can, always keeping the zone around Lance clear so he can shoot without problems. It was hard running from one side to the other but they were doing surprisingly well with this strategy, so far none of them has gotten injured. 

“How are we doing this?” Lance asks behind Keith, who hasn’t taken his eyes of the two beasts that seem to be looking for an opening to strike. Keith can’t decipher Lance’s tone and he doesn’t know why it’s calming to hear him. 

Keith sighs. “Pidge.” He says, hoping this time she might listen, “This isn’t funny anymore, Lance and I can’t take this by ourselves,” he says, voice rough and heavy breathing but he’s only met with white noise. 

He feels Lance behind him.  “Got any ideas?” 

“I think I do. But we need to get out of here before they reappear,” he says. “They haven’t seen us fight together, if just coordinate our attacks it won’t be hard to take them down.” 

A beast tries to attack Lance from one side, but Keith is faster and manages to keep it out with a swing of his sword that the beast manages to dodge. Lance snorts and elbows Keith on the ribs. “I think I’ve got five more shots, then I’ll need five second to reload the rifle’s energy field.” 

Keith knows they can do this, so when they both share a knowing look, Keith knows what to do. A simple  _I distract, yo_ _u strike_ strategy they’ve done before. 

A third beasts lunges forward and pushes Keith to the ground without any prompt, it’s so sudden neither of them react to it in time. It comes out of nowhere and Keith imagines it just spawned next to them. He groans in pain when his head hits the floor, but Lance manages to shoot it down before it claws at Keith’s face and Keith tries standing up, disoriented. The attack manages to separate them once again, and the other two rush towards Lance who seems like the most active target. 

“Keith! Help!” When hearing Lance shout, something inside him, a  _fire_  that burns out his lungs grows deep around his chest. “Keith! Kei— _fuck,_  Get lost!” He was pushing against one of the beasts with his rifle being the only thing keeping a distance between them. One of Lance’s legs gave up against the brutal strength of the monster and he was already on one knee against the floor. 

“Wait! I’m on my way!” Keith ran to him, but a second one launched itself towards Lance and with a long, clawed hand it slashed right at Lance’s head, his helmet flew to the other side of the room with a loud crash. Keith, breathing erratic and heart beating like a thousand drums, watched how Lance fell to the ground with his hands covering a side of his face. He looked around, trying to think of something, what could he do? Lance was gonna get killed by this! He had to do something, something, but he can’t, _he can’t,_ he’s running and running, buthe’s too slow, he’s  _not_ _gonna_ _make it._  

And then there was a leap. A jump that brought him right next to Lance, he fell with perfect balance and equilibrium. He didn’t stop to think the surrealism of the situation, and with practiced fighting skills he shoved his Bayard on one of the monsters and kicked the other one out of Lance’s reach. 

And the Keith noticed he was being stared at. A small line of blood running down from Lance’s forehead, but his expression was fixed on him, completely dumbfounded. “Keith…” It sounded like a whisper, but then he realized Lance wasn’t looking at  _him_ per se. He was looking at his feet. 

Keith’s heart stopped. A pair of purple legs, way bigger than his  _human_ ones, for a lack of a better definition, both in volume and length, that had even ripped though his boots and the boot of his pants. In that moment that he was both thankful and terrified. 

“No time to be scared!” Lance says, grabbing his face away from the ground with one of his hands and points with the other—the one tainted in blood—to the new recently spawn beast. “JUMP!” 

He doesn't need to be told twice to put Lance’s arm around his shoulders and jump high enough to dodge the beast’s attacks. His feet were stinging, but the adrenaline was numbing most of the pain away. Lance was draped across his back with his arms around his neck, Keith being way taller than him now, allowing him to maneuver freely to keep the enemies as far as he could from Lance. 

“There.” He sees Lance’s trembling hand point to one of the walls of the training room, there, high up almost touching the ceiling, was a small corner they could sit on. With his last desperate breath Keith ran to it and jumped as high as he could, both hands grabbing the edge of it, He had barely reached it, and he had to let go of his Bayard to hold on with both hands. Lance climbs first and then helps Keith get up to sit right next to him, legs dangling off the edge. 

“Are you hurt?” Lance’s voice was like a light in shadows. A darkness that consumes him while he stares at whatever his legs were becoming.  

How did this happen again? He couldn’t place the pattern between all the times his body changed, and it had happened so many different times since yesterday he was going mad, he looks like a galra, like a monster! What would Lance think of him now, he looks horrifying,  _disgusting!_   

“Stop!” Lance says, voice rough. 

Keith looks up, tears on his eyes and fists clenched on his lap. A side of Lance’s face was covered in red but it didn’t seem to be bleeding out anymore and it looks to be the only injury on him. Lance reaches out and grabs him by his shoulders, a stern look on his face. “You’re not a monster. I know it’s crazy but you’re the guy who just saved our asses from getting killed!” Lance looks down and Keith follows his gaze.  

Below the beast-holograms were destroying the Altean sentries, giving up Lance and Keith who were out of their reach for now. Keith sighs, trembling. 

“You’re my friend, Keith, you got my back and I got yours, I already told you I don’t care if you grow an extra head.” He smiles at him, and all of Keith’s worries feel a little lighter. “All we gotta do now is stay calm and wait for Pidge to turn this thing off.” 

Keith doesn’t trust his voice right now, so he just nods and goes back to look at his lap. He takes off his helmet and places it next to him. 

“Damn, that was a close one, this thing is insane! Do you think the castle went batshit crazy again?” he asks, but Keith couldn’t bear to look at him. 

There was a long silence, one that forced Keith to look at what might have caused it, but it was only Lance staring at him in worry. “What?” he asks, voice small and shaky. 

Lance points at Keith’s legs. “Do they…uhm, hurt?” 

Keith wants to reply but seeing his legs again makes his eyes water and his throat close up. They didn’t hurt, but he could feel his thighs feeling constricted in the black cloth and the armor around them, and he wondered how much had changed that he couldn’t see. He shakes his head instead, and lowers his face until his hair covered it. In the past, he never felt like this, always, whatever happened was under his control. Even the times he fought against others, those had reasons and he knew how and why. But  _this_ was different, because he didn’t know, no one knew and it just kept happening. 

“Hey.” Lance’s voice was quiet against the rumble of noise beneath them. “Hey, it’ll be okay. This is normal.” 

“It’s not! Stop saying that to make me feel better!” Keith says, annoyed but hurt too, finally giving in and covering his eyes to hide the tears. 

Lance’s arm reached around his back and brought Keith close to him, Keith’s head resting in-between Lance’s breastplate and shoulder garb. He tried burying his face as much as the neck piece allowed him to. In the end he ended up falling into Lance’s embrace and thanking the universe that Lance had decided to stay quiet and not make fun of him for this  _one_  time. 

 

* * *

 

Keith watches with a pained expression how Coran slowly removes the small pieces of his armor that were stuck in his right calf—his  _human_  calf, that is. He was concentrated fully on this task, holding some weird Altean version of a medical tweezer, pulling on what looked like the last of the small bits. Keith hates the smell of the infirmary—it reminds him of the days he’d spend more with the Garrison’s nurse than the teachers. 

Lance had come up with a story to explain the damage to Keith’s armor and clothes. Something about being caught in the claws of a monster that pulled to hard and broke it. Hunk had bought it but Keith knew Pidge and Coran were very skeptical about it. 

Coran treated Lance’s head injury first—not a serious one, thankfully—and then he moved to Keith’s, giving him some strange medicines and painkillers before cleaning the huge cuts and scratches the monster’s managed to get on him. Right now, he was removing small bits of armor that were half or completely inside some cuts. Coran said happily there was no need to put him in a cryopod and Keith didn’t really know if that was good or bad. 

“Ah, this brings back memories” says Coran with a smile that kept growing wider while he drops a bloody piece of armor on the transparent container next to the others. “One time, King Alfor accidentally pressed an Olkarian flower that turned out to be a bomb! It was a miracle he didn’t lose his hand!” And he starts laughing, while cleaning the blood of the tweezers and opening the cabinet filled with first aid items. 

Keith wants to laugh but he can’t even force himself to smile, the mood swing proves to be too much for him this time, so he just stays quiet while he rides it out. Hopefully he’ll feel better to talk after its gone. Lance and Pidge are sitting right beside Keith’s bed on top of a pair of white containers and they both laugh at something else Coran said, and he feels a little bad he wasn’t paying attention.  

“He had bits of his gauntlet everywhere! Took me ten thousand vargas to get all the pieces out” Coran continues, turning to Keith with a tiny box filled with colored spherical gummies. 

He stays quiet as Pidge and Lance both hunch over to see the box in question—their faces lit up and while Pidge grimaces, Lance smiles. 

“ _Aww_ , Coran” says Lance, smiling from cheek to cheek. “Keith’s getting the Altean version of a lollipop for being a good patient” 

Coran looks at Lance with excitement. “Oh, you have these on earth? Splendid! Though it is a little unsettling you only give them to those who behave.” 

Pidge scrunches her nose. “Well, they’re usually given to children when they go to the doctor but these candies have been stored for ten thousand years.” Pidge adds. “I wonder if they’ll taste like space dust and cobwebs” 

Coran shoots them a curious look while holding a red gummy. “Candies?” Coran says, before laughing again. “No! These are  _v-strips._ ” 

Lance jumps in his chair like an excited kid and starts laughing. “THEY’RE  _WHAT_?” 

Pidge looks over at him and pushes him on the shoulder lightly, the disgust in her face just growing by the second. “Lance, you’re gross. He’s obviously not talking about  _that_.” 

Keith looks at both of them, curious. He knows he’s heard that somewhere before but he can’t put his finger on it. 

“Pidge, I swear, _v-strips_ ,oh my God.” Lance keeps laughing. Keith’s pain and confusion is pushed aside for a moment while he finds himself more interested in this conversation. Where has he heard that before? He doesn’t know why it reminds him of beer. 

Coran picks a red gummy from the box. “What’s wrong with v-strips?” He asks, frowning. 

Lance doesn’t stop laughing while he elbows Pidge. “Nothing’s wrong, Coran,” he says, and has to hold his stomach while he throws his head back. 

“What he means,” Pidge says, trying to talk over Lance’s obnoxious chuckles, “is that we know a different type of ‘v-strips’ that has a completely  _different_  purpose.” 

Coran nods, and Keith is left with more questions than answers.   

Coran hums. “What a coincidence! Millions of light years apart yet we seem connected by mysterious strings in the universe” he says, waving the red gummy in his hands. He presses it between his thumb and his index, then, using his other hand he stretches the gummy until it looks like a fine thin cloth and places it on top of one of small bruises on Keith’s ankle. 

Lance is quiet now but he’s still smiling, eyes glossy with tears adorning his eyelashes. “Then what are these v-strips? What does the  _v_  even stand for?” he asks, pointing to the red strip. 

“It’s short for  _Vitamin Strips_!” Coran says and smiles as he reaches for another v-strip inside the freezing box. “They are used for small injuries. Sometimes they are useful for muscular pain too,” he says, stretching another one to place on top of Keith’s injured skin. They do feel warm. “They’re perfect so people can still treat minor damage without having to get into a healing pod.” 

Lance smiles. “Like super powerful band-aids?” he asks, Pidge standing from her chair to look inside the box more closely. 

“Yes, Lance. Exactly like super powerful band-aids” Pidge lifts one of them in her hands, eyes wide with curiosity. “What are they made of?” she asks, smile on her lips while she looks at Coran. 

This starts a conversation between them that Keith is no longer interested in paying attention to. Instead his eyes follow Coran’s hands as he takes the v-strips, stretches them and gently presses them against his skin, his expert movement is replaced in a moment by Pidge’s shy hands as she tries to place on a cut near the back of his knee. 

His eyes are unfocused, looking at his legs—and he can still feel the ghost of the heaviness, the size and thrill of confusion when his mind screamed in terror:  _those legs were not his._ He hears Pidge’s and Coran’s voices in the background, but his head is a swamp of mud that keeps trapping him the more he struggles against it. 

He grasps his thighs with each hand and he frowns. The more he stares at them, the more he remembers. The look on Lance’s face, his expression of fear and his bloody forehead. But at the same time Keith cannot forget the aftermath—the softness of Lance and him sitting side by side on the training room, monsters below them, their roars while the blew the sentries out of existence and Lance’s arm around him steadily while he cries on his shoulder; all this just warms his chest in the tiniest way possible. 

A shadow looms over him—he looks up to Lance—and there’s a faint look of worry in his eyes. “ _Hello_ _oo_ _,_ Earth to Keith? You okay there, buddy?” he says. Coran and Pidge both look up and their eyes fall into his hands tightly grasping his thighs. 

Keith nods. “Just tired,” he says and Pidge is lowering her head, looking away from Keith. 

“I’m so sorry,” she murmurs, sounding small and vulnerable. A first for Keith after all the time he’s known her. “It’s my fault you’re both like this. Shiro and Allura are gone for half a day and I already almost  _killed_  you.” 

Coran chuckled. “Oh, don’t beat yourself up. The good thing is that they’re both fine.” 

“That’s not the point!” she says, voice breaking. “I make these mistakes all the time when I’m coding but It’s never a problem because I’m always on the lookout for errors—that  _was_  the whole reason Allura and I wanted to test it!” Pidge lifts her head and she’s clearly angry, but her eyes are glossy and in the corner of her eyes there are tiny tears. “I was sleepy  _and_  hungry, and I didn’t even remember when I fell asleep—It just happened!” 

Lance tries reaching her with his hand but she pushes his hand away. She wipes her eyes in the crook of her elbow. 

“If Hunk hadn’t entered the control room, you both would be dead by now.” She looks at the floor with a scowl. “I exchanged your safety for a  _nap_.” 

Lance puts his hands on his hips and looks away, a strange glint in his eyes showing for a second before disappearing into a determined look. Keith can’t figure out what he’s thinking but he wishes he knew. 

“It’s my fault” Lance says, softly. “I woke you up in the first place, I knew you stayed up—” 

“No, Lance.” Pidge says, interrupting him. She looks up and shoots him a glare. “That’s not the problem, I mean, what if it had been the  _Galra_? What if it had been an attack, an emergency and we had to form Voltron and I had fallen asleep in the middle of it?” And the way it comes out, makes Keith shiver. 

There’s silence. Keith looks at Pidge, then at Lance, who just purses his lips and looks to the ground. And then there’s a fear that grows in the pit of his stomach. Because that had just raised a new concern in Keith’s mind: what if his body changed in the middle of battle? And because of that—because of  _him,_ they couldn’t form Voltron? Would Red straight out reject him and abandon him just like everyone should— 

“Guys I think I finally made it!” Hunks voice breaks through the infirmary as he enters. “I’ve been trying this recipe all week and it finally came out right!” 

The gloom atmosphere seems to disappear instantly; Coran smiles and returns to placing the v-strips to Keith’s injuries and Lance and Pidge both reach to grab a pastry from the trail Hunk holds in his hands. Even though Keith’s fear has subsided, it feels like a constant dread caged under his ribs. His body becomes tense and his ears start itching. 

Lance hands him a small orange donut-like pastry. When Keith looks up Lance’s eyes widen unprompted. Once Keith grabs the donut, Lance reaches to his own ears and touches the tip discreetly. Keith catches on quickly and slowly puts his hand over his ears to feel the beginning of a pointy shape forming on the shell. He quickly pushes his hair to cover them and Lance winks before returning to the conversation swiftly like nothing ever happened. 

Keith blinks and his eyes fall on the donut he holds on his hands. His chest starts doing flips again as he remembers the night before and his insatiable arousal that didn’t go away until he was too sleepy to keep going. Lance’s hands—his  _imaginary_ Lance’s hands, to be clear—feeling so warm and real that it brought back the very different warmth under his skin. He grasps his thighs again and looks up trying to find something to distract himself with. 

Coran is looking at him; Keith’s stomach falls in shock realizing he probably saw all that. He doesn’t say anything but a knowing smile remains on his face, he then lifts his head and looks at Hunk. “Please save one for me, they smell delicious!” 

Keith starts eating his own, and he doesn’t dwell on the fact that he can’t smell anything from his donut at all. Lance sits next to him on the matress while giving a bite to his donut. Pidge starts telling Hunk about the v-strips and their discussion carries on between that and other Altean types of medical items. It ends up with Coran telling stories of his adventures over different planets ten thousand years ago. Keith is inmersed in the conversation but he doesn’t miss the way Lance’s face squints for brief seconds, he touches the bandage over his head pretending to be scratching his forehead or fixing his hair, but his fingers linger over the wound a little too much, Keith notices. 

An hour goes by until most of the v-strips are already disappearing into his skin when Coran stands up and begins to clean up and organize. 

“I think you’re good to go, Keith,” Coran says, lifting his chin with a smile. “By tomorrow you’ll be feeling as good as new.” 

Keith nods and slides down from the bed. “Thanks, Coran.” 

Lance reaches out to grasp his elbow, Keith’s skin burning at the contact. When Lance notices he has no problem standing by himself, he lets go. Keith gives a step and stumbles a little, everyone in the room lifting their arms to try and help him. Hunk, the only one standing close enough to him, ends up with his hands on his shoulders. 

“Yeah, dude, maybe you should go take a nap, just sayin’,” Hunk says, voice low. 

Keith’s mouth opens but Lance puts his hand on his arm. “I’ll take him to his room.” 

Everyone, including Keith himself, look at him with wide eyes. 

“Did you hit your head that hard?” Pidge says, her tone half-mocking and half-serious. Keith grimaces at the thought. 

Coran shakes his head and lifts a finger. “No, no, I’d say it’s the medicine. Side effects include: experiencing out of character disorders.” Both Hunk and Pidge laugh and high-five Coran. 

“My head’s fine!” Lance says, before smiling widely, puffing his chest out and placing a hand over it. “Because, you know, since Shiro isn’t around  _someone_ has to take the responsibilities of the leader” 

There’s a collective sigh. 

“Hey! Come on, I'm  _trying_ to be the bigger person here.” he says, almost screaming. He reluctantly stands up and pats Keith in the back softly.  _Too_ softly. “You should all follow my example.” 

Coran nods eagerly, “That’s marvelous! A great opportunity to bond as teammates!” 

Keith sighs and speaks for the first time, voice tired: “Once, Lance and I had—” 

“Oh my god! Just drop it, mullet!” he says loudly, Keith pouts and they start bickering back and forth about things no one wants to hear anymore as they start leaving the room. Pidge is the first one to step out, asking Hunk to help her out fixing and rewriting the training sequence main code. Keith and Lance follow after them. Coran stays behind, tidying up the infirmary and all the medical equipment he used. 

Keith walks slowly and Lance keeps a steady arm around his back all the way to the rooms, feeling dizzy the more he walks. He supposes it’s because all the medicine he took before that its finally catching up to him. He loses his balance a few times but Lance’s body is always there to keep him upright. They make small talk over things like Garrison teachers and the cafeteria food. It's superficial but enough to ignore the other pressing matter between them. 

But when they reach Keith's room, it comes back like tidal wave. 

Keith opens the door and Lance helps him to get to the bed. They both sit down and let out a sigh. Keith’s feet ache as if he had run for hours, and he can feel a lingering discomfort where all the v-strips are almost completely merged with his skin. Lance lays down on his bed but looks the other way as he speaks. 

“Do you know why it happens?” Lance asks, curious. 

Keith scoffs and looks at the ground. He shakes his head. 

Lance sighs again and sits up, knocking the chest piece with his fingers. “Let’s get you out of this so you can go to sleep” 

Keith nods and starts unclasping the safety locks of his gauntlets slowly. Lance reaches to his back and helps him out of his breastplate with mechanical movements of someone who’s done dozens of times before. 

There’s nothing inherently intimate about this, it has happened many times before when they’ve come after a battle. Sometimes they’re all tired and don't want to deal with walking all the way to the changing rooms so they just help each other out of their armors. They’re heavy and hard to take off. It’s true that Keith had never done this with Lance before—usually it’s Shiro or Hunk who help him—but it shouldn’t be different anyway. Still, Keith can’t help feeling extra warm wherever Lance’s fingers touch over the black suit. Keith undoes his belt and once he puts it aside his hearts jumps out of his chest when he hears the zipper of his suit sliding down.  

Okay, taking the armor, that’s fine. Getting him off his suit though, that’s just crossing the line, right? 

Lance’s fingers don’t really touch his skin but now he’s hyperaware of it and he’s both craving and shying away from the touch. He’s never done this before—has Lance done this before? With Pidge and Hunk, that is? Is it normal to help your  _bro_ out of his leather suit, platonically speaking? 

There's an odd sensation in the way his body shivers, and now, he knows  _this_ feeling very well—he's no stranger to the lustful need when he’s crossed a heated look with a stranger. The problem was that this was no stranger, this was Lance. You know, the ‘I-form-a-giant-space-robot-with-you' Lance and the ‘Stop-playing-with-your-food-to-make-Pidge-laugh' Lance. He was not a fling that Keith could leave behind at the shortest inconvenience or a one-night-stand that would be forgotten the next morning. 

Not that Lance couldn’t fill that spot pretty easily in different circumstances: Lance was handsome, clearly outstandingly so; he was tall and lean; he’d seen him without a shirt many times and he knew that Lance’s frame had taken muscle after so much training since they all got into it as a daily routine. He knew it was paying nicely to him: broading his shoulders and building up his biceps. He thinks that might be because Lance had to be lifting his gun all the time. 

Somehow, his mind starts remembering the night before, Lance’s hands and lips on him, and every time he closes his eyes, he starts seeing small white flashes beneath them. A pair of tan hands slide down his suit of his shoulders while they caress the skin underneath slowly. 

Softly and— 

“Are you okay?” Lance asks, innocently, bringing Keith back to reality again. “You’re shaking.” 

He then realizes he’d been falling into a daydream, again. His suit was still on him even though the zipper was all the way down now and the  _original—_ and very real—Lance has his hands off him, putting away the armor to a corner of the bed. Keith is about to brush off Lance’s worry until he sees—and feels too—the hard-on that’s even more obvious because of the tight-skin suit. He’s so panicked he forgets to answer. Quickly, he tries to cover himself, both of his hands awkwardly on his lap. 

“Hah, what is it? Speechless in my presence, I see...” Lance chuckles at his own joke and taps his shoulder. Keith is quiet as panic rises on his throat, and he opens his mouth desperately but nothing comes out. 

Keith turns farther away from Lance, fear coiling in his gut after finally finding his voice. “Nothing, It’s nothing—I’m fine.” 

He feels the matress move beside him and for a second, he begs the universe that Lance ignores what he’d just say for the good of both of them.  

“Hey, seriously, what’s wrong with you?” And of course, he wouldn’t. It’s  _Lance_. He tries pulling Keith by his shoulder but Keith flinches against his touch and refuses to look at him. 

“I said it’s nothing! Leave it!” Keith says his voice too high. 

One of Lance’s hand grasp his elbow and pulls it towards himself. “Hey, I’m not joking around, is it happening again?” he asks, this time clearly more annoyed than before. 

Keith shakes his head, he tries to get away from Lance’s hold but he can’t do it without taking his hands out of his lap. He’s not fully hard and he hopes that by the end of this argument it’s gone so he can pass it off as a cramp or a headache. That plan sounds solid until Lance’s fingers come up his waist and he feels a soft, shy touch against his ribs. 

His response is almost instant. He jumps and starts laughing, trying to get away from Lance’s hands tickling his sides, he tries saying something but Lance doesn’t give him a second of rest, so he can only beg him to stop in between giggles. Lance manages to keep him in place until Keith is squirming against Lance’s chest in a fit of laughter, flailing his arms at him. 

“You underestimate my power when I’ve grown up with four older siblings!” Lance says with a playful tone, before letting Keith drop to the bed, with his face up and chest heaving. Keith lays there for a second regaining his breath until he tries to remember why this happened in the first place— 

“Holy shit.” A whisper that’s loud enough to blare the sirens at him. 

He sits up quickly and he covers his lap again. Face completely red. 

Lance is gawking at him. 

_Did he see?_  

“I told you to leave me alone,” Keith says, a very ineffective warning it seems, as Lance doesn’t seem the least unaffected by it and his eyes drop to Keith’s lap again, making Keith instantly turn his body away in embarrassment, grabbing a pillow to cover himself. 

Lance points to his groin. “Are you—are you seriously just…you know,” 

_He saw. He obviously saw. He saw, he saw, he saw—_  

Keith frowns. “It’s your fault!” he says, finally losing his composure. “You touched me all weird and undoing my clothes! Like, what the actual fuck! Don’t  _blame_  me!” 

Lance opens his mouth likes he’s about to speak but instead he just starts laughing. 

He drops all the way from the bed to the floor wrapping his arms around his stomach, small tears on his eyes. “Oh my god, Keith!” he says, rolling on the floor and facing his back to Keith. 

This is by far the last thing he expected to come out of this, but it’s not less awkward none the less. In fact, instead of making him embarrassed it makes him self-conscious. 

“What’s so funny?” he says, and his attempt to sound menacing comes out weak and vulnerable instead. 

Lance turns around and regains his breath, his smile doesn’t disappear and Keith thinks it’s annoying. Lance sits up on the floor and crosses his legs, face red and wide smile. 

“It’s just I can’t believe the all-mighty Keith Kogane actually fell for my charms.” He says, his expression looks strange—one he’s never seen before—but it quickly changes to its usual flirty, self-centered attitude. “I mean, I know it would happen eventually but I wasn’t even trying! Imagine if I had been, though.” And he waggles his eyebrows at him. 

Keith’s mouth turns into a frown and he can feel the irritation raising in his whole body. “What is  _that_  supposed to mean?” he asks, almost snarling. 

Lance flinches and lifts his hands defensively, “Geez, calm down, I’m joking,” he says but his eyes drift off to the floor and he looks dejected. “Don’t worry, I’m not telling anyone. I’ll just add it to the new pile of secrets between us next to your Galra X-Men shape-shifting powers.” 

Keith’s grip on the pillow relaxes while he nods in acknowledgement, realizing that maybe they can forget this faster than expected. So far, Lance has proven his worth like a secret-keeper and Keith would award him with the title of trustworthy. He’s guy, too. He can obviously sympathize with this situation, who hasn’t gotten a small hard-on when his war buddy tried to friendly take off your clothes? Completely understandable under Keith’s book. 

Lance clears his throat and stands, putting his hands on the pockets of his jacket. “Though, if you ever, like, want to do something—I, I’m not against it, you know?” 

Keith feels like Lance just shot him straight to the head. His eyes widen and his jaw drops and he knows he’s frowning because his forehead starts to ache. In that moment, Lance hunches over himself and he rubs the bandage that covers his forehead, the thought obvious on his face as it is on Keith’s mind:  _Maybe he did hit his head that hard._   

Lance rushes to the door without breaking eye contact, hands scrambling for the panel.

“Hah! Just kidding! I’m—I’m joking again!” Lance says with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes and it clearly just leaves an uncomfortable grimace on his face. Finally, he opens the door and drops his eyes to the floor while he leaves. He mumbles a ‘ _see you later_ _’_ under his breath without looking at him. Keith is left to himself, now he’s not only tired but confused and angry and  _horny_. 

And deep, deep,  _deep down,_ Keith knows Lance was probably joking—even though a part of him wishes he wasn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said “soon” and I think I jinxed it. So, I'll stay quiet about this one :'v  
> Also can you people believe my birthday was on December 14th?  
> Basically vld came to my house and spitted on my face.  
>  ~~s8 hurt me a lot~~ Thank you so much for the support! It means a lot :’)


End file.
